I was going to post this last week as part of my post on Pi, but I forgot. So here it is now.

Obama’s early pieces primarily played with structure: Our Long-Term Strategy In Afghanistan employs Brion Gysin’s cut-up technique to reorder the words in a major speech on foreign policy, eventually creating a shocking sound collage that, according to the White House, reveals “a truth previously buried beneath layers of intent.” [...]

Nonetheless, a number of critics have embraced Obama’s edgier productions. Artforum magazine referred to Obama’s oeuvre as “a winking indictment of the institution of the presidency from none other than the president himself,” and cited in particular his wildlife conservation video Meat Play as “the direction the office needs to go in if the executive branch is to remain relevant.”

The Onion: Obama’s Weekly Video Addresses Becoming Increasingly Avant-Garde

(Thanks Jillian!)

Snopes: Christmas myths confirmed or debunked

Most of my other favorite links are compiled in my Ontological Terrorism for the Holidays article.

More Images

(via Disinfo)

Mustard interviews Alan Moore about his new magazine Dodgem Logic and he reveals that he is doing the libretto for their next opera and they will hopefully be contributing a few pages to the magazine:

Then the issue after that we’ve hopefully got Gorillaz onboard. They came down to Northampton last week because we’re planning for me to do the libretto on their next opera project. Being an opportunist, I of course asked them if they’d be prepared to contribute some pages to Dodgem Logic. Rather than just doing an interview with them, I thought it would be interesting to hand over a few pages for them to curate.

Mustard: Alan Moore talks Dodgem Logic

(via 24 Bit via Joe Matheny)

Update: Moore now says this has been overblown.

Fictionology’s central belief, that any imaginary construct can be incorporated into the church’s ever-growing set of official doctrines, continues to gain popularity. Believers in Santa Claus, his elves, or the Tooth Fairy are permitted—even encouraged—to view them as deities. Even corporate mascots like the Kool-Aid Man are valid objects of Fictionological worship.

“My personal savior is Batman,” said Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Greg Jurgenson. “My wife chooses to follow the teachings of the Gilmore Girls. Of course, we are still beginners. Some advanced-level Fictionologists have total knowledge of every lifetime they have ever lived for the last 80 trillion years.”

“Sure, it’s total bullshit,” Jurgenson added. “But that’s Fictionology. Praise Batman!” [...]

“Scientology can only offer data, such as how an Operating Thetan can control matter, energy, space, and time with pure thought alone,” McSavage said. “But truly spiritual people don’t care about data, especially those seeking an escape from very real physical, mental, or emotional problems.”

McSavage added, “As a Fictionologist, I live in a world of pretend. It’s liberating.”

The Onion: Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology

(Thanks Bill!)

Sounds like chaos magic to me ;)

Proud Atheists: Which Guy is Lying?

(via Paul via Bill Whitcomb)

Institute for the Future director Alex Soojung-Kim Pang tells us how to conquer the world:

Be certain, not right
Claim to be an expert: it makes people’s brains hurt
No expertise, no problem
One simple idea may be one too many
Get prizes for being outrageous
There’s a success hiding in every failure
Don’t remember your failures. No one else will

Relevant History: The Evil Futurists’ Guide to World Domination

(via Blustr)

Bruce Sterling notes:

*It’s a little odd that Pang doesn’t seem to realize that he is describing religion here. His “evil futurist” is a morally-certain holy prophet with a scripture. Social figures of this sort carry out practically every tactic that Pang describes, and that scheme’s been working grandly for millennia.

*I’m trying to imagine a human society that has survived without any holy prophets dominating from the sainted woodwork somewhere. If you count Marx as a holy prophet, which I most certainly do, I don’t think there have ever been any such societies. Maybe “in the future,” eh? Yea, verily it is written!

(via Lupa)

(via Mechangel)

Presenting Intermittens. Intermittens is a periodical journal of Discordian diarrhea – an incontinent splattering of juicy ideas and corny jokes. Originally produced by the irreverant spags of the Peedy cabal, Intermittens is an expanding attempt to document some of the antics going on today in the Discordian Society. Every issue has a different editor. All content (unless otherwise marked) is from / for the public domain.

This project is an attempt to create an open-source Discordian magazine. We encourage anyone, even you, to haphazardly throw together an issue of what you think is cool. The project itself is a Golden Apple Seed Mission, or GASM, meaning we want your help! We need people who have writing, graphic, and layout skillz. We also need people with the balls to edit their own issue of Intermittens and join the elite Editor Cabal. Do you have what it takes? No, you don’t; none of us do. That’s why we’re making DIY magazines and not professional ones. And that’s why we need more cooks to foul the broth.

Intermittens is being published on a (roughly) monthly schedule. If you’re interested in helping out, check in at principiadiscordia.com/forum and martyr yourself for the cause. In any case, we hope you dig it. And by all means, share. Send the PDFs on to people you know, people you love, people you hate, hamsters, and other creatures.

My friend Telarus, KSC designed the first issue. Seems like a fun project.

Intermittens: a Journal of Discordian Bullshit

From: XKCD

Related External Links

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• [XKCD] Security, in The Real World. | Thushan Fernando Uncut
• The SpinDoctor's Interests: Security (XKCD COMIC)

“The difference between a graphic novel and a comic is that the bus takes four panels to arrive in a graphic novel. ”

From Flickr

(via Robot Wisdom)

(via Jesse)

I suspect the author of this knows more about programming languages than religions. But it’s still kinda funny.

C# would be Mormonism – At first glance, it’s the same as Java, but at a closer look you realize that it’s controlled by a single corporation (which many Java followers believe to be evil), and that many theological concepts are quite different. You suspect that it’d probably be nice, if only all the followers of Java wouldn’t discriminate so much against you for following it.

Full Story: Aegisub

(Thanks Dr. P Fenderson)

Apparently from swirlee

(Thanks Bill)

Cobol on Cogs

(via Soycamo)

This was originally published at Alterati last year as part of my Spliced column.

(Above: a holiday card taken from the Amanita muscaria – Holiday Cards gallery)

Christmas is always a good time of year for ontological terrorism. For example, “The psychedelic secrets of Santa Claus” by Dana Larsen from Cannibus Culture Magazine is one of my favorite links to spread around Christmas time. Larsen makes the case that though Santa Claus is now a symbol of our annual collective consumer-orgy, he may originally have been inspired by amanita muscaria mushroom eating shamans. That the very same politicians that enforce and promote the war on drugs tend to also whole heartily endorse a religious figure birthed of ancient drug culture amuses me to no end. Larsen’s idea, apparently taken from Jonathan Ott, might not pass skeptics’ muster. But most, if not all, of Christmas traditions stem from pagan practices.

Read the rest of this entry »

“In a bold move, Monty Python announces their partnership with YouTube, creating the first official Monty Python Video Channel on the internet. To all the fans who’ve for some unknown reason have sat, progressively losing their eyesight, squinting at their computer screens, watching The Dead Parrot Sketch, or missing the climax of The Fish Slapping Dance all because you’re too damned cheap to buy the shiny new DVD Box Set, you who have gawped at grainy bootlegged Python snippets only to be left unfulfilled by the ripped-off rubbish posted on YouTube… Well loyal Python fan, strain no longer! Now you can save your eyesight and join the Monty Python YouTube Channel, where you can enjoy high quality Python lounging in your knickers. Yes, that’s right, you don’t even have to leave the comfort of your laptop to join the Flying Circus.”

(Monty Python’s YouTube Channel via Pythonline)

“STUDY COURSE FOR THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE-In these modern times of stress and crowding, as more of us are forced to live under one roof, it is incumbent upon the churlish to perfect the art of being difficult. For that reason, famed Hollywood Guru, stargazer to the Stars of Hollywood, Anita Sands now offers a groundbreaking Course: PASSIVE AGGRESSION 101. This is a seminar you must take. In it, YOU WILL LEARN ‘state of the art’ P.A. Technology ! Yes! Up ’til now, you’ve been nasty on the natch but why should you be ordinary in anything you do? There have been important developments in behavioral systems developed for the torture of so-called superior (but really meeker) humans —by surlier, burlier ones —and, as an even cursory purusal of the curriculum of this workshop will prove, tricks in terror can be taught! You can become a doormat with TEETH. HOW?

It pays to stay au courant. Things have moved a great way from the early days of simple, caveman aggression. Advanced studies take basic human aggressiveness and refine it into sublime and ever more evolved manifestations. Use the same old Cro-Magnon fist but shroud it in a Third Millenium velvet glove! P.A. Studies 101 does not involve putting aside the mortal weapon. Oh no. It involves a lighter touch on a smaller, more streamlined club, targeting more mortal spots on the enemy. Take this class and become the shit you always wanted to be!

COLLECTING INJUSTICES –OR THE VALUE OF SCREAMING AND YELLING- (not YOUR screaming. THEM!) When people have too much patience and calm, and constantly summon the strength to be calm around you, it is incumbant upon you to DOUBLE DOWN on being outlandish. I’m talking double-dip nasty. Be hugely provocative. Make them totally lose their cool. Do exactly the opposite of what they tell you to do. Ignore any request. They say, ‘don’t leave, do the work,’ LEAVE and neglect the work and come back and tell them what fun places you went and amusing, creative things you did while they were stuck doing the work. If they say don’t make noise. CHATTER AND PLAY THE RADIO. When you have them blowing up, screaming and yelling say in a gentle, pained manner, ‘See? You’re an angry rageaholic bitch to me.’ When you can truly collect an injustice the collateral benefit is that you get to tell a few of the enemy’s friends of the cruel evils the enemy has done to you. Makes for great gossip down the line. You’ll dine for years on these anecdotes.

CONTROL TRIP: If the Enemy can approach you and talk, he will ultimately control you. Always avoid conversational approaches. As a chatty Cathy comes at you, or as Enemy moves toward you with mouth open, immediately trip switches that leave them powerless. Lock yourself in your own room, forcing them to bang, cajole, talk through the door. That leaves them in total powerlessness. Then to absolutely seize control, tell them you don’t like being yelled at through a door, that it’s insulting. This is called a reverse switch and leaves most authority figures completely stymied, and stupid ones, feeling guilty in the bargain.

HARMONY- Why should we have any harmony on earth? Life sucks. Earth is a place for SUFFERING. You’re suffering, why shouldn’t everyone else? Be the Equalizer with your own brand of the Golden Rule. Not to give others what you yourself want… No way! Your job is to give others what you got. Every glad ass is trying to sell some dumbfuckin’ harmony seminar. It’s on every street corner. Harmony has been done to death. COSMIC TRUTH: There’s harmony everywhere EXCEPT on earth. That’s how God made it. Don’t try to fix it if it ain’t broke. If God meant for humans to be happy automatically he wouldn’t have given babies painfully hungry stomachs, wee-wees, ammonia in diapers, mucus in noses, soft skulls that crush with a minor fall off a bed, necks that break with the slightest slap!

SHARING-Ever notice how high horse the enemy gets when you have the flu? It really deserves a get-back. Here you are feeling stuffy, headachy, feverish, unable to sleep and they’re perky as a squirrel going “More tea? Can I get you a Mango smoothie?” Implied by all this wussy pussy energy is ‘where’d you fuck up, you little maniac that you’re this ill? You wanna eat Big Macs with change stolen from my purse, you goddamn pay the price. Look at me. I’m in perfect health. I eat spinach. I never get the flu.” Well, fuck them and the bale of hay they rode in on. They’re made of steel maybe, but you’ve got an endless supply of kryptonite. You’ll show them! The thing to do is get them in a corner where they can’t get away like when they’re reading to you, sitting downwind and cough right in their face. Don’t bother to turn your head or cover your mouth, just casually HACK in their face. Make sure a shower of spit falls on their lips, eyes and nose. If they call you on it, do a wide-eyed huh? Like, aren’t you testy. Here I’m the one dying of a l08 fever and you expect me to HOLD BACK every cough just because you insist on sitting with me and reading me Peter Wabbit?” Then when they come down with your flu and are lying in bed missing work, hacking, as you go out the door, remind them to drink mango smoothies. It’s not expected you make it for them. You’re not Florence Fucking Nightengale. You’re Greta GetBack.”

(via Heyoka Magazine)