Onion: Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology

Fictionology’s central belief, that any imaginary construct can be incorporated into the church’s ever-growing set of official doctrines, continues to gain popularity. Believers in Santa Claus, his elves, or the Tooth Fairy are permitted—even encouraged—to view them as deities. Even corporate mascots like the Kool-Aid Man are valid objects of Fictionological worship.

“My personal savior is Batman,” said Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Greg Jurgenson. “My wife chooses to follow the teachings of the Gilmore Girls. Of course, we are still beginners. Some advanced-level Fictionologists have total knowledge of every lifetime they have ever lived for the last 80 trillion years.”

“Sure, it’s total bullshit,” Jurgenson added. “But that’s Fictionology. Praise Batman!” [...]

“Scientology can only offer data, such as how an Operating Thetan can control matter, energy, space, and time with pure thought alone,” McSavage said. “But truly spiritual people don’t care about data, especially those seeking an escape from very real physical, mental, or emotional problems.”

McSavage added, “As a Fictionologist, I live in a world of pretend. It’s liberating.”

The Onion: Scientology Losing Ground To New Fictionology

(Thanks Bill!)

Sounds like chaos magic to me ;)

3 Comments

  1. I finally know the name of my religion.

  2. This isnt something new. I would rather say its a plagiary of Chaos Magick, “belief is a tool”.

  3. Yes, this is chaos magic…

Leave a Reply

© 2014 Technoccult

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑