This post, formerly found here, has been removed. But it’s a classic Portland job ad so I’m reproducing it here for posterity:

Successful entrepreneur is wanting to start a new concept in Portland.

I am looking for the one special person that I can count on to manage a store in happening Northeast Portland specializing in Fairies! We will have all things related to Fairies and perhaps even elementals.

The right person will:

Have retail management experience
Be mature
Have a successful background in retail
Be able to prove volunteer or community service work.
Be able to handle stress and boredom.
Believe in Fairies
Be able to work any days/hours.
Be able to lift 50 pounds.
Be knowledgeable in MS Office applications.
Have a fantastic personality.
Believe in the Secret.
Have a relaxed professional appearance.
Operate the store as their own without direct guidance from me.

The right person will not:

Have visible body modifications.
Have emotional baggage.
Need time off to go to Burning Man.
Depend on this opportunity to survive.
Use any drugs.

IF interested please:

Respond with a Resume
Tell me what “The Secret” means to you.
Tell me why you would make the perfect manager.
Tell me what you need or expect for a salary.

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