An inspiration for occult aesthetics everywhere

Princess Voodoo Whatever

Voodoo Princess Clarice was a choice link I decided to click from off to the side of Technoccult here. It’s part of the Google Ads thing.

Aside from Bush playing as I peruse the website, other gems include the aniGIF lightning bolts wallpaper, the slick ASCII illustration (ACiD, eat your hearts out), and then there’s the spells… for sale:

Voodoo Princess Clarice is known for her powerful healing rituals and her love spells. These powerful spells have been handed down through the years from the most noted voodoo practitioners in voodoo history. Regardless of your situation, my powerful ancient love spells can restore love, passion, romance and commitment or remove or place a hex or get revenge. Whatever your heart desires, I am Princess Clarice.

Rev Max, you got any sort of deduction here? I get from this that professionally working voodoo priestesses listen to pop rock, are into video game fantasy art, and can cast spells as easy as I can roll a D20 to smite my ex-girlfriends.

Voodoo Princess Clarice’s spell list includes plenty of love-me spells for those of you too lame to grow a pair and start talking to cuties at the library or caf?, weight-loss spells for people who don’t feel it’s necessary to get regular exercise or eat relatively healthy, the interesting stop-a-divorce spell for those of you who are too afraid to admit when it might be over and move on into the new experiences life has to offer you, pregnancy spells (also known as needles-and-condom ends), and an assortment of favourites for the whole family.

Why wait? Call now! (310) 254-7143 “serious callers only”

I want to beat myself up now simply via 3? association. More on how occultists see themselves and are seen by others here.

3 Comments

  1. “Call me now, for your free tarot readin’!” Yeah, I think she was sued, wasn’t she, lol? Ties in nicely with the “Spiritual Kitsch” post.

  2. More on how occultists see themselves and are seen by others here, too.

  3. Real occultists can’t see themselves!

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