This post, formerly found here, has been removed. But it’s a classic Portland job ad so I’m reproducing it here for posterity:
Successful entrepreneur is wanting to start a new concept in Portland.
I am looking for the one special person that I can count on to manage a store in happening Northeast Portland specializing in Fairies! We will have all things related to Fairies and perhaps even elementals.
The right person will:
Have retail management experience
Be mature
Have a successful background in retail
Be able to prove volunteer or community service work.
Be able to handle stress and boredom.
Believe in Fairies
Be able to work any days/hours.
Be able to lift 50 pounds.
Be knowledgeable in MS Office applications.
Have a fantastic personality.
Believe in the Secret.
Have a relaxed professional appearance.
Operate the store as their own without direct guidance from me.The right person will not:
Have visible body modifications.
Have emotional baggage.
Need time off to go to Burning Man.
Depend on this opportunity to survive.
Use any drugs.IF interested please:
Respond with a Resume
Tell me what “The Secret” means to you.
Tell me why you would make the perfect manager.
Tell me what you need or expect for a salary.
July 30, 2009 at 7:25 am
And to think that the Portland Tribune had the nerve to actually say Portland was really quaint and ordinary. Little do they know….
July 30, 2009 at 1:45 pm
“The right person will not…Need time off to go to Burning Man.” LOL! Awesome 🙂
August 1, 2009 at 1:06 am
“Do ya’ll sell fairy swatters?”
Owner needs time off to use drugs at Burning Man. Too much time spent lifting 50-pound fairies…
May 11, 2011 at 1:24 pm
155178 beers on the wall.
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